My early years were formed within the United Church of Canada, followed by Methodist Sunday schools during my boyhood. In my teens, a somewhat dramatic conversion experience led me to a Pentecostal church. However, this newfound path brought both positive and negative experiences, especially as I grappled with my identity as a gay teenager—a reality not readily accepted in the church culture of that time.

Embarking on theological studies at a Pentecostal theological college, I ventured into pastoral work in Canada, navigating the nuances of lay roles. Despite finding fulfilment in these experiences, the internal struggle with my identity persisted.

Returning to England in 2003, I sought solace in the Church of England, drawn to its traditional liturgical worship. Prescot Parish Church became a haven where I could embrace my true self, eventually coming out after a few years. Engaging in the choir and various ministries, I rediscovered contentment and a sense of belonging.

Over the past decade, a sense of full-circle moments has grown, signalling a positive return to pastoral ministry. Even during periods of doubt and questioning my faith, I always felt a subtle calling back to ministry.

Reflecting on the past decade, my affinity for sacramental liturgical churches deepened. A conversation with my vicar and curate eventually led me to explore a calling to the priesthood and a journey towards becoming a Franciscan.

In the face of life’s challenges, my faith, particularly my relationship with Christ, has been a constant source of strength. I describe Christ as a friend and companion on my journey, I find solace in daily companionship with both Jesus and the communion of saints throughout the ages.

As I pursue my journey towards the priesthood and explore the path of becoming a Franciscan, I reflect on the unique intersection of these callings. The decision to embark on this dual journey has evolved over time, shaped by my deep sense of vocation and the quest for a place where I truly feel at home.

For me, the essence of vocation is closely tied to the concept of feeling at home—where do I belong, and where do I find my true self? As Saint Augustine eloquently expressed, our hearts are restless until they find their rest in the divine. This universal human longing, a return to Eden, became my guiding principle. The Eucharist and engaging in various forms of ministry have been the anchor points where I connect with my true self. A pivotal moment occurred during the vigil by my dying mother’s bedside, reinforcing my calling to offer pastoral care and instil faith and confidence in others.

Navigating the journey towards the priesthood has presented its challenges. However, a sense of patience and obedience has been crucial. Trusting the guidance of mentors, clerics, and the administrative staff, and allowing the discernment process to unfold, has been a key aspect of the journey.

In parallel, my exploration of becoming a Franciscan took root during my involvement in a theatrical production of Romeo and Juliet. The character Friar Lawrence, a Franciscan brother, sparked my interest in the Franciscan way. A subsequent exploration of St. Francis revealed a resonance with the values and practices that had unknowingly shaped my life.

Currently, as a postulant in the Anglican Greyfriars, I find resonance with the Franciscan commitment to poverty, chastity, and obedience. This dispersed fellowship aligns with my desire for a community committed to practical and pastoral ministry, integrated with a life of prayer.

Balancing my roles as an ordinand and a prospective Franciscan involves academic studies, hands-on experience, and spiritual formation. The training at Emmanuel College has introduced me to new skills and challenges, including ongoing research projects.

My current placement at Speke C of E, St Aiden’s and All Saints provides a fresh context for ministry, requiring adaptation from my traditional background. I love engaging with the community, preaching, and learning from experienced priests have been enlightening and enriching experiences. The people of Liverpool and South Liverpool in particular are so welcoming. 

While challenges exist, especially in adjusting to a new worship context, I find moments of grace and connection in the common strands of our Anglican tradition. It’s a journey of patience, observation, and learning, with the ultimate goal of serving God in practical ways and living out a Franciscan commitment within a parish setting.

As I navigate these dual paths, I’m grateful for the support and camaraderie of the Anglican Greyfriars community, where we encourage and uplift each other in our respective journeys. The journey continues, and I eagerly anticipate the unfolding of God’s plan for my ministry and Franciscan commitment.