Around 12 or 13, I started asking myself deeper questions. Was any of this real? Did I believe in God on my own, or was I just following my family’s path? Meanwhile, my friends were exploring other interests, and Sundays held the lure of sports and other social outings. Yet, I stayed connected to church and God, even if a bit loosely. Every now and then, I’d have moments where God felt real, like I was catching glimpses of something profound, though they were fleeting at first.
At 13, I made a big commitment: I decided to get baptized. The church I was part of was a lively, Pentecostal-inspired community, with a rich Afro-Caribbean community and a strong sense of belonging. It felt good to be part of something that grounded me, even as I navigated the typical teenage pull toward independence, friendships, and fun. Monday through Saturday I was out with friends but living and behaving quite differently to how I did when I went to church on Sunday so I started to feel a tension between these two worlds.
My faith was shaken when both my grandfathers passed away close to one another. Grieving for the first time, I didn’t know how to process it all. I knew that I should turn to God, yet, I still sought freedom, trying to fit in with friends who offered comfort in other ways—some of which led to choices that left me feeling empty.
I hit a low point, wrestling with the consequences of some of these decisions. I remember a particularly hard moment of prayer where I cried out to God, feeling I had no control left. I needed help, a way out, and in that surrender, things began to change. I didn’t just leave my habits behind; I felt transformed. I slowly realized that if I wanted to be the best version of myself, I couldn’t rely on myself alone—I needed God. This shift was evident to those around me. Even my parents noticed a marked difference in my behaviour. There was a sense of peace, of a renewed commitment that carried me forward.
Before both of my grandfather’s passing, something even more surprising happened—I felt a call. During a moment of worship, I had a clear vision of myself preaching to others. I was only 14, so it was a confusing and humbling image. I didn’t know what to make of it. But I held on to it as a possibility, something to explore in the future.
As I moved through school, that vision lingered, and opportunities arose. I began stepping into small leadership roles within our youth group, encouraging others and leading prayers. There was a real hunger within me, a desire to help others experience the joy and peace I’d found. Yet, even with that vision of preaching, the idea of working in ministry was far off in my mind—something for much later in life.
In 2015, I came to Liverpool for university, studying biology at LJMU. I arrived there somewhat reluctantly, as it wasn’t my first choice. I was unsure of what God was doing in my life at the time. Slowly, I settled into life there, connecting with friends and getting involved in the Christian Union.
Then, in my second year, I went for an induction for a potential placement at the Women’s Hospital, working in the genetics lab. I loved genetics, and logically, the work made sense as a step toward my career. But there was something about it that felt… off. As I walked through the lab, I sensed a deep unease. I couldn’t shake the feeling that God was calling me elsewhere, even though it didn’t make sense to me.
Around that time, I began attending St. James in the City. I hadn’t realized it was Anglican at first, but the warmth and community felt like a home away from home. One day, a mentor from the church asked if I’d considered ministry in the Church of England. I was taken aback; Anglican ministry was far from what I’d ever imagined. But as we continued to talk, something stirred in me. Maybe this was the direction I was meant to explore.
Over the following weeks and months, I found myself praying more seriously about this path. It wasn’t the future I had envisioned—I thought I’d finish my degree, start a career, and maybe one day, years from now, step into ministry. But doors kept opening, and I felt a strange, undeniable sense of “home” within the Church of England. Eventually, I decided to take a leap of faith.
Today, I’m in ministry, and it feels both humbling and rewarding. Getting here wasn’t easy; I had to work through self-doubt, questions about where I fit, and even struggles with mental health during my training. But coming out the other side, I’m more convinced than ever that this is what God made me for.
Ministry brings its own set of challenges, but it’s also incredibly fulfilling. I know now that I’m exactly where God wants me, and I’m excited to see where He leads me next. The journey hasn’t been easy. Training for ordination brought its share of struggles, especially around identity and mental health. I wrestled with questions: Did I fit in? Was I the right person for this? But time and again, I found strength in my faith and in the support of those around me.
On the other side of it, I now feel a deep sense of fulfilment in ministry. I am where I’m meant to be, even if it’s challenging. Every step, every struggle, every prayer, has brought me closer to understanding my purpose.
So if you feel a call, don’t ignore it. Explore it. God has a way of leading us where we need to be, even if the path is unexpected. In the end, it’s a journey worth taking.
